I have now been in NYC for something like three weeks and these are the thoughts from my roadtrip across the US, reflections on my time here so far, being a 30 year old unmarried woman in today’s society and to round it all off, a collection of just random things I have been considering writing about but don’t feel like developed enough topics to warrant their own substack. Flown back and forth from NY (sneakin in your bed) for work and its been a wild ride.
Yalllllll driving across the US is not for the easily bored nor sleepy at 2pm every day (me). And yet we goddamn did it folks. I’m glad we did, but already wishing I’d brought more things (I sincerely miss my plants and espresso machine). But somehow we made it cozy in that car and did the trip in 4 days. Had some big convos with Sofia’s dad, saw an incredibly racist bumper sticker in Nebraska, and of course, ate at a chili’s for the first time in 15 or so years.
Among the many thoughts I had while having lots of time to think were “dear god can Fia’s dad drive faster, why am I craving starbies on the daily?, is there such thing as too much Taylor Swift (the answer, it turns out, is no), what am I doing this for?, will my parents call? I cannot wait for bagels and setting up my new apartment and to see my NYC friends and make new ones and find out what its gonna be like. I cannot believe we are literally driving across the country and I am only going to 3 new states (Wyoming, Indiana, Pennsylvania), Del Water Gap- isn’t that a band? ooop we need to track expenses, Subway or Taco Bell? I’d murder, MURDER for a marg right about now. Are the dogs okay? Why is it so flat and brown everywhere? This has to be a joke (response to a horrifyingly racist bumper sticker)” And many more. I don’t really talk all that much but I think this substack alone is proof that I actually cannot shut up.
So far today I have smelled kung pao chicken, cinnamon raisin toast, gas, rain on cement, dog poo, shampoo, nail polish, coffee, tic tacs, and fresh flowers.
I watched this youtube on Developing a Growth Mindset. Specifically, its aimed at parents and people raising kids, but I still find it applicable to the every day journey of adulthood. The power of yet. Am I there yet? Difficulty can mean, not yet. What am I contributing to society? Praise for the process and the strategies, focus, perseverance. I was gifted, praised for my intelligence and talents at getting my homework done on my own and reading a lot.
I had a realization while walking home from getting groceries this morning that I really don’t think my life has a direction right now. For the first time ever, I am living in the moment. Half of me is completely terrified by this and the other half feels like a breath of fresh air, infinite possibility and all the crap. It’s not like my inner longings or dreams or life goals have gone away, just not really sure how to get where I thought I was already going to be by now. What direction do I want my life to take? Where do I want to live, plant roots, grow a family?
I always see those posts and tik toks about how everyone was in their late 20s in season one of friends/himym/sex and the city. ETC.. I feel very not thirty compared to. how I thought thirty was supposed to feel from a very traditional perspective. But maybe my generation is making a new traditional. Where dogs are the kids (having two dogs in NYC is wild and lowkey elite af yall)
On my third day here, I went to a coffee shop and got into a conversation with a local guy, who was directing a production at a nearby theateresque place and invited me as his guest to a show- called He Said She Said, the transition story of a 65-year-old woman over the last couple of years. She shared her beautiful story with very on-par boomer era interjections/jokes/asides. Two memorable quotes from meeting with famous people (because she works with famous people):
No one can ever make your dream perfect but you. -Sharon Stone
Find out who you are and then do it on purpose. -Dolly Parton
These moments impacted her story and now impact mine too. It’s so fascinating to me how people’s lives intersect at just the exact moment of immeasurable impact. She’ll never know what it meant to me to meet a random person and be invited to a random thing so soon after moving to NYC, nor what her words and story meant to me, a cis-female half her age.
My writing style is literally to write random paragraphs, then group them together loosely based on topic, rewrite into something more cohesive-ish, publish, and pray to the universe that y’all don’t think I’m stupid or embarrassing. I really need to work this out in pilates. And to arrange flowers. The peony tulips from Trader Joes are the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen.
Are you thinking of me yet?
Eden
💞 The Things I Love 💞
Phoebe in her fluffy pink sweater
Living with Sofia
NYC
Tompkins Square small dog park
Shy Shy Martinis
FreshSends Flowers 🌷
trinkets
Sparkling Cherry Cola Celcius
Homemade soup on a rainy NY day
ubrelvy
These pics of Wesley and Phoebe as humans depicted by ChatGPT (I had to see it so now you have to see it)
